Sad news

So here is an update to the last update. Well we all thought I wasn't pregnant. Wrong! We were on IUI #2 and I had been giving myself shots for 3 weeks. I wasn't developing any follicles like I did the month before. On my last ultrasound the doctor cancelled the IUI and said that she thought I ovulated and just radomly though we should do a pregnancy test. Jer didnt go in with me to the ultrasound so I was a total mess when I came out. He asked what happen and I said I tell you when we get in the car. I told him they think I maybe pregnant and they will call us. During the 2nd  month I had been having on and off bleeding and cramping and was super super mean. I was at work when one of the RE docs called and confirmed I was and they couldn't determine were the pregnancy was. So they were going to do another ultrasound in two days. I called Jer and he didn't believe me. I went home an hour later and started spotting really bad and knew something wasn't right. I went to the ER and the ultrsound tech was very quite. When she was doing the scan I seen the baby's hearbeat and the movements. I started to cry and told Jer everything is ok. The tech said she had to grab the doc. She did and the doc came in and told us that we had an ectopic pregnancy and I need surgery to remove it. As he was talking(he was an ass) I heard nothing he said just wanted to sock him. I think he could tell he left the room as fast as he came in. They took me back down stairs and as I was leaving the tech came out of the back room and she was balling. When that did it I LOST it. I started to cry. I went from having such hope to having my gut drop. Jer was great and comforting and helped me to suck it up and face the doc and the surgery. The OB's came down and explained everything. They were so amazing.   I went home and came back a few hours later for the surgery. Dr. Bruno(surgeon) ask how are you so calm and not in so much pain. I told her I think I am just numb. I warned all the docs that I am super mean when coming out of anesthesia they just laughed it off. I said ok. I wake up and I am in so much pain. I though my private part was going to fall off. I was yelling at them that I was in pain and whatever they gave me was like being drunk and blacking out. They told me I was 13 weeks and lost my right tube.  They took me to the bathroom and the nurse told me when I want to change just yell at her. I apparently got myself dressed and told her she should of been in the room to help. She laughed and said you were right you are mean coming out of surgery I told her duh I warned you guys. Fast forward today. I went back to work after a week. The recovery has been slow but not horrible. I have days were I cramp horrible and others that it doesn't hurt to bad. The bright side of all this is that we are able to get pregnant. We have to wait 6 week before we try again. Well 4 more to go. I dont know if we will do the drugs again. We are out of the Amigos study so have to pay for everything out of pocket. My insurance covers half of the IUI's. I am waiting for my records so I can meet with Dr. Kregar and see what the game plan is. I am scared to death of drugs and don't know if we should try on our own. The Amigos docs still are baffled how I got pregnant and they missed it. In my consultation with them they said we should continue trying with Menopur and another 2 IUI and if nothing then go to IVF. Ick IVF is so expensive. I would rather buy a Caddie and still adopt.-Jk I have no idea what Dr. Kregar will do he is a Kiaser doc and is a wonder doc who looks like he is stuck in the 80's. He has gold chains and wears his shirt down with his chest hairs out. If I didnt know his personality I would find him quite scary. So who know were we go. I have learned to be an advocate of my own health and know what to watch for. I know infertility is a new science and its only God who can give life. So I put my trust in him and whatever journey he takes us is were I go. Jer thinks he is going to punished and be blessed with 5 children. I would mind.

Nelly

update

Sorry its been a while sense my last post. The last IUI was a no go. I am happy that the 1st IUI is out of the way I know what to expect now. I am back to the shots of Menpour. I am such a needle pro. When the nurse took my blood for the IUI she pop my vein so I got a nasty bruise on my arm so that vein is out of commission for a while. My others are small. She wasn't the normal lady that draws my blood. The one that normally does it awesome and she a is a student scary huh. I went in for an ultrasound and today and there is nothing growing so they are upping my dosage to what it was before. I was enjoying the last 5 days of the lowest dosage I am moody or having hot flashes. I am still super annoyed by people who jabber about nothing or complain too much.....I lost the 9lbs that I gained. I think it was all water weight. I deep cleaned my 2nd bedroom and made it into my massage/office/scrap-booking/need to get away from hubbie room. Just kidding I love my hubbie. He has been great through all of this. I have been a licensed massage therapist for 10 years and not practicing for years. Now I can yippie. Nothing else to report.

My thought for the day-don't ask

Oh and fertile women suck!

To my Gram!

Well its been a few days sense I posted anything but here is whats been happening. I have been to the doc almost everyday this week. My follicles are at 18,16,15 as of Wednesday. They had me do one more night of Menopur. I should trigger tonight and have the IUI done on Saturday. The the 2week wait begins. I had no side effects of the Menopur but I am extremely irritated. Kinda like PMS x10. I feel bad for Jer I know I couldn't live with someone like me.Work has been kind of stressful  I really do appreciate James and what he does it sucks when he is gone. He does work pretty dang hard. Jer had a lecture from his mom today. I think she is super happy we are trying finally for kids. She said that she will be at our house everyday to make sure the babies are OK and helping with chores ect. She says there better not be any dog hair(we have 5 muts) Some people may find this intruding but I am ok with it. Jer's mom reminds me of my gram just a little less crazy then my gram. I really have come to appreciated Jer's parents and all they have done for us. They have the experience that I don't. When I hit 26 or 27 I realized I don't know nothing about life. Sometimes it can be hard but I wouldn't have the husband I do without her.

My gram was 10x's crazier. I felt bad for my mom. She had it hard. My mom would have the house spotless and my gram would always find something wrong. My mom had the house spotless one time and gram came in and stuck her finger in a plant and told my mom her plants are dry to water them. No the house looks nice just water your plants. I miss the 4 billion calls a day from her. The "Call me its an emergency" voice mails and really she just wanted to say Hi. I miss the stopping by my house at all hours to see what I was doing because she was lonely. The constant shit she would start because she could.  She loved drama. The lies and roomers of what I was doing wrong they were always entertaining. She was tough as nails on me and I was scared to death of her.  Now my brother and sisters weren't scared of her as much and they tested her and she kicked their ass seriously. My brother told her F-U and he ran she said oh ya you son of a bitch. He was all state in track and was fast she picked up a rock and pegged him right in the back of the head knocking him to the ground. She only hit me twice ever. She had a meanness that I didn't test for that I finished school and always succeeded at everything I have put my mind to. I miss it all because I know that she cared and loved me so much that she would do anything for her daughter. I was her 1st grandchild and she was so young to be grandma that I became her daughter too. I miss you Gram! Today has been 3 years from her passing. Happy Mothers day to all the women who are mom's and who one day soon will be mom's.

Shots

Soo. This is my fourth day of shots and I well I feel NOTHING. Jer and I were bickering at one another the other day and he says Oh I cant wait to do your shot tonight. I said bring it shots don't hurt. Well he brought it and did a great job! The medicine only burns for a couple minutes after. I go in Saturday to see how well my follicles are growing(eggs). Hopefully they are growing great and I can trigger and have my 1st IUI next week yippie then after the the 2 week waiting game begins(I am so dreading that). Hopefully my sister will be back in town so I can bug the crap out of her and she can keep me busy. This may not be appropriated but I found it freaking hilarious.

Jer is a sissy

I started the Menopur shots last night. I watched the video to make sure I mixed everything correctly. Well when it came time I had everything mixed and Jer was like Ill give you the shot. He was more then happy to do it of course. I showed him the needle and he of course goes "ooh that looks like its going to hurt" well he couldn't do it. I took the shot from him and went to give myself the shot in my belly and I psych'd myself out and couldn't do it because of what he said. I told Jer he had to and he went to try again and chickened out (what a sissy all this talk of I'm going to prick you) I grabbed the needle from him and stuck it in myself. It didn't hurt of course and Jer squeezed the syringe. I pulled it out and then it was sore for about 20mins. All in all not bad. I have to call my mom and give her kudos when she was preggers with my brother she got blood clots and had to give herself shots. She did this through her whole pregnancy everyday twice a day now that takes guts. I remember seeing the knots in her belly och!

Today I went to the Fertility doc and I was randomized for Menopur(injectable). I am super excited and so nervous I can't even express. Jer and I had talked to an Reproductive Endocrinology 3 years ago and were going to start the process of trying Clomid and IUI. For some reason we never continued after testing. I look back and I don't think it was the right time. Its almost surreal that we are moving forward. Menopur has a higher chance with multiples. Maybe we will get lucky and have triplets and be done forever.   If we have a daughter she will be Luciema Kate-Rae and if its a boy Kiko Floyd. The girls names are Jer's and my grandmothers names combined and the boys is a grandfather and my great uncle who was killed when he was young.  Honestly I am getting older and just even having one is a blessing whether its my own or adopted. They will have great parents who will love them. If we end up not being parents thats ok too we will just adopted more dogs they always love you even when they hit 13.  I go back to the doc Sat for more monitoring and then maybe back on Monday. I am grateful to have a job that lets me take off and make up time. Thanks Boss Man. Above a pic of my gram today really made me miss her, she would be the one I would share all this information with well now you get to listen to it.