Moving forwarded

Well some have been asking were we are in TTC. Hmm.....how to begin this. Almost a month ago I started to feel different and came home and took a test. Lo and behold it was positive. I was so scared and excited. How could this happen so quickly after my EP surgery. Jer and I certainly weren't trying. I called the doctor and they did an ultrasound and didn't see anything wrong but they didn't see the baby either it was way too early. I hadn't any bleeding or pain like the last one. So I tried to keep it together and not worry. My hormone levels weren't going up fast enough so there was some concern. Well on Monday July 16th I started to cramp horribly. The onset pain was one that I never ever felt before. I never wish to feel that again. I was at work and Jer was coming too pick me up from work. It was 3:30 when the pain started and Im off at 5. I text him at 4:45 letting him know what was going on and to hurry. He got there and I went to the 1st hospital were I had my last surgery at and their wait was 4 hours. I didnt feel easy being there. I hate that hospital and didn't like the way they let me go after my surgery last time. So I left and went to the hospital in Lafayette. Their wait 4 hours unbelievable. It wasn't until 8pm that I was seen. I love that hospital though they are clean and always checking on you. I seen the ER doc and she tells me well we dont know what to do. I let her know that Dr. Kregar thinks its left over tissue and I need to take the MTX shot(it kills whatever cells are left and ends a pregnancy). I refused to take it because what if......my baby was ok. They sent me to do an ultrasound. It was HORRIBLE. I had to have the tech stop so many times and I was screaming and crying the pain was too much. My shoulder hurt(weird huh? I get to that later). They call the on-call OB. Guess who it is the doctor I HATE! He is a dry do it by the book ass who had one of my paps years before (the Chinese doctor from the movie Knocked UP)I never went back to see him. I had the ultrasound and he was waiting for the results to come back. He spent over an hour half with me checking things. He seen the results of the ultrasound and said something is swelling in your belly. We are unsure what is going on and need to do surgery. I said hold the brakes I will just do the shot I don't want surgery I just had surgery four week prior. He wasn't very happy and explain it all over again this time he was very clear. What choice did I have? I was in pain and nobody could figure out what was going on. Did anyone care? I felt like a human pin cushion. He was very dry but very compassionate. I come out of surgery and stay in the hospital for a day. He found a cyst that had ruptured and I was bleeding internally. I had bleed so much had they not done the surgery I would of died quickly. I bleed so much that it was past my diaphragm. I guess when your diaphragm gets irritated it causes shoulder pain. I love the doctor I once hated everyone else brushed me off and he took the time to sit with and go through my medical history. He didn't believe what the RE doctor had said. He came in the next morning and sat with me and talked all about what happen. He said that its so rare what happen he hasn't seen it in over 5 years. He said my left tube looked great and we could still try for a baby. He didn't see the pregnancy but want to monitor my hormone levels. Fast forward a few days. I finally miscarry. It was hard but I am ok and we can still try later down the road.........................I am over the whole baby thing. I am focused on getting back into shape and healing from all this.  Had I taken the shot like the RE suggested I may not be writing this story. Almost loosing my life twice in the last 2 months gave me a new outlook on whats important.